Saying “no” to a partner feels like telling your kid “no” when in the candy aisle at the grocery store. You feel like you’ve wronged someone, even though deep down inside, you know it’s for the best.
One of the most difficult things to do is to say “no” to a partner. It’s difficult on so many levels. On a basic human level, most human beings like to be agreeable. It’s just our nature. We generally try to avoid conflicts. Even litigators, whose very job is based on conflict, would probably prefer to keep the fighting to opposing counsel, and not have internal disagreements with their own team.
There’s also the fear factor. We all know about the huge disparity in power between partners and associates. Basically, partners have the power to fire associates. Associates don’t have the power to do anything, really. So when a partner asks an associate to help out on a project, even if the associate is thinking, “no,” at the back of her head, she’s probably wondering: “Are there going to be consequences if I say no? Is the partner now going to think I’m lazy or not a team player? Is that partner going to tell all his partner friends that he thinks I’m lazy and not a team player?”
Then there’s the rather naive assumption, when you are a first year, to think that partners know best how to manage your time. You figure: partners are experienced, they’ve worked with first years before, they know what we’re working on, they will figure it out for us. Bad assumption. Very bad. Partners often do not know how busy you are, or what else you are working on. They have the ability to find out what you are doing, but they’re not going to spend the time analyzing your time entry sheets to determine whether you can work on their new case. So don’t assume that if a partner asks you to jump into a new case, that means he really believes you have the time to do it.
Finally, partners are very persuasive. Think about it: skills of persuasion are clearly important if you are a lawyer. Partners are the ones who “made it,” so it’s not surprising that, as a general group, they tend to be persuasive people. They also know how to turn on the charm when they need it the most, when they are desperate for help on a case, and no one is available. Try to resist it.
The point of this post is not to tell you to always say “no” to a partner. In many cases, you should say “yes,” especially if the case is exciting, you will be given new and interesting responsibilities, or the partner is someone you enjoy working with. There are many other situations when you should also say “yes.” The main problem is that most associates, especially junior associates, don’t understand how to say “no” even when they are simply unable to take on more work. This leads to an inordinate number of problems down the road. Now that you understand some of the reasons for why it’s hard to say “no,” stay tuned to the next post on how to say “no” and live to tell about it.
