Saying “no” sounds easy, doesn’t it? You just harness your vocal chords, and the word comes out of your mouth. During law school, I took a seminar as a 3L called “Concept of Consent.” The course dealt with the word “no” in all its complexities, and in particular in the context of rape law. By the end of the semester, I had acquired a profound appreciation for just how complicated one word, “no,” can be.
Assume this hypothetical: a partner has approached you with a new assignment and you have a legitimate reason to say “no.” You are already swamped. What do you say to this partner? “No. I’m too busy.” This is the most common reply, and is almost always the wrong one. Let’s see what is really going on here.
Any time you say “no” to a partner, you need to be aware of several things. First, what do you really intend to say in your refusal? Second, how is the partner interpreting your refusal?
“No” is a loaded word. It may mean, “I don’t have time to work on a new case right now” or “I am holding out for a better case” or “I really do want to work with you on this case but I am swamped for the next year because of a trial” or “I have heard terrible things about you and wish to avoid you at all costs.” What is your intention when you say “no”?
The partner may likewise interpret the “no” in multiple ways. She may think, “‘No’ means I need to push harder” or “Is this associate really swamped?” or “How can this associate refuse without even knowing any details about the case?”
Given the ease in which miscommunication may occur, what can be done?
First, simple awareness that “no” is a loaded term is a step in the right direction.
Second, no matter how busy you are as an associate, always listen to the partner present the case before responding. If she doesn’t elaborate, ask details about the case. Many associates are afraid to do this because they believe that, if a partner has already spent the time explaining the case, they have implicitly consented to being on the case. This may be true if you allow a partner to get into the substantive details of a case. But that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m referring to the discovery of important information: how much of your time does the partner need? when does she need this time? now? a month from now? Perhaps you are swamped for the next week but then your schedule clears up. Perhaps the partner doesn’t need you until next week. You may very well have said “no” to a partner giving you a top notch case simply because you didn’t communicate and ask the right questions.
Third, after finding out the relevant information, if you still have a legitimate reason to decline the case, do so politely. Make sure you let the partner know that you appreciate the fact that they considered you, and encourage them to consider you in the future (especially if it’s a partner you actually do want to work with in the future). Associates sometimes fail to recognize that when a partner approaches with a case, the selection may not be arbitrary or random. Yes, sometimes it is, but you can’t assume this. Perhaps the partner thinks that a particular case is a good fit for you, and you–by blowing her off–just burned your bridge with that partner, and likely conveyed a bad impression to the whole partnership of your “bad attitude” for refusing a case in a mindless fashion.
While the context varies according to individual situation, try a response like this next time you have to decline more work because you are already burning the midnight oil: “Thanks for considering me for this case. I’d love to work with you on it, but I am already working on [x, y, and z cases] with [a, b, and c partners.] I’ve been told by [a, b, and c partners] not to accept any more work for the next [w weeks/months] but if you’d like to talk to them about staffing me on this case, that would be fine with me.”
By doing this, you’ve conveyed gratitude for the offer, provided details and specifics for your current workload and the time frame for that work, and transferred the issue from “I don’t want to work on another case” to “The partners I am working with don’t want me to work on another case.” It’s much harder for a partner to get mad at you for refusing to be on her case when you’ve presented the issue as partner vs. partner as opposed to partner vs. you.
So, before you say “no” next time, remember that it’s a loaded word that requires lots of clarification.
